Chapter 6: | The Rebellion

 There was an immense silence, no calls, no meetings, nothing and I was still processing the discussion. A war was going on inside my head and I was a mess to myself and everyone around me. It wasn’t visible outside, but inside it was a massive storm. 

On day 4, he called early in the morning and said,” Vidhisha, I want to meet you. Can you come to Delhi?” 

I said,” I can, but I need to be home by 5 PM.”

He said,”What is this 5 PM deadline that you keep bringing up?” 

I said,”I’ll explain when we meet. I’ll leave in an hour.”

My emotional state of turmoil was so deep that tears won’t stop. All the events 21 years of my life were in front of me and they made me realise that I was an animal in a cage. I was a part of a deeper circus, where relationships were only shallow and meant to take away your freedom from either force or compulsion. 

I didn’t realise when the bus reached the station. I was sitting in the empty bus, and Manu came looking for me. He came inside the bus, and realised. He said,” Are you willing to sit and weep here all day?”

I was flabbergasted, and said,”No..just I was lost deep in my thoughts.”

He pulled my arm and said,”Let’s go..this place is not an ideal place to be.”

This was the first time I had ever felt his touch and it was as if a father’s concern for a daughter. I was broken and shattered and I craved freedom. In about 30 mins, we reached our spot. We took our seats.

He said,” What happened, did I say something that hurt you?”

I said,”No, it’s just I never realised the true purpose of my life. I thought all this burden of family and responsibility is what I have to live for. I never knew what freedom was until I met you. And I feel disgusted, for not raising my voice at everything I have been through. Nick, my mother and the environment, is just a hell I chose. I never set up boundaries.”

Tears were flowing through my eyes, he comforted me. 

He held my hand and said,”Don’t worry, it’s a very small problem, it’s not a big one compared to a family living on the street who have no means of earning money but begging. They know they can perish, but still choose to live. You are still educated, independent, earning and can legally take decisions in your personal interest. You don’t owe anything to anyone, it’s only a rotten teaching imbibed in the middle class. You’re not this.” 

I couldn’t stop. The pain inside me was flowing in the form of tears and realization of what I have missed. 

He said,”Don’t hold back anything, just let it all out. I know you’re under a burden of expectations, which cannot be fulfilled.” 

I stopped sobbing and said,”Just give me a minute, I need to wash my face.”

It took me 15 mins to clear my mess. He waited outside and his eyes were stuck on me. He held my hand and took me to the coffee shop. 

He ordered my favorite coffee and said, “Now tell, what is the 5 PM curfew about.”

I said,”It’s nothing but a mental barrier I have  created for myself. As any later than that she starts using abusive language and shuns my character, thinking I’m partying or boozing or drinking with my friends or boyfriend whatever. Once I went for a media engagement at NDTV, my company sent me to attend a political talk, it got late and at 9:30 pm we reached the bus station, so no buses were available. My colleague who lived nearby asked me to stay the night with her. I agreed, as it was pointless to roam the streets in search of the bus. I stayed the night and informed her, she started yelling on the phone without listening. The next morning when I reached home, her abuse and language, she even called me a prostitute. So it doesn't matter to me now.”

For a moment, he just tightened his fist as if he was trying to suppress his anger. I never saw him angry, but this time he couldn’t hold back. He said,”How can a mother do this to her children?”

Calmly, I said,”It’s a sad reality, but now that I have lived through it. I choose not to live it anymore.”

He said,” Let’s finish the coffee, and let’s go for a feast.”

He took me to the Rajasthani stall which was famous for pyaaz kachori and mirch vada. He ordered kullad tea. It was ravishing, mouthwatering and spicy, just the thing one needs. Then he ordered a thali, and we both shared it. I was full. It was past 7 pm now.

He dropped me at the bus station, and I went on for my journey home. This time, Nick’s calls were frequent, as I switched on my phone. I disconnected. He was waiting for me at the bus stop. No sooner than I got down, he said, “Where were you?”

I said,”None of your business.”

He said,”It’s my business.”

I said,” Not anymore. This is over. If you dare call me again or visit my house, I’ll report it to the police. So, now get off my face.”

I reached home, and she was in the kitchen talking to her sister. I sat across the stairs of the verandah and watched her. 

After she finished her call, I said,” Isn’t it amusing that you find happiness in your siblings and your so-called family that you left behind. And it’s funny how you’ve ruined the family that could have been yours forever. But now, enough of the manipulation. It’s time I move on. I am soon leaving this house and not coming back, until I become someone of my own. I need nothing from you.”

I went inside my room and left her stunned. She started hurling abuses worse than anyone could tolerate. I shut my door and put down a bag and started packing. It was 10 pm and my dad came back. I spoke to him about moving out and living in a PG, he said it’s a bad idea.

I said,”I can’t waste my time travelling to and fro. I can’t be sacrificing my health like you have.”

He was silent, and realised that the storm of rebellion had finally entered his own premises and now it was inevitable. 

He went to sleep and avoided any further discussion. I hid my bag under the bed and waited for the day. 

At 6 in the morning, I carried out my bag, I was ready to leave and I told my dad that I will inform him wherever I chose to reside. My mother came in front of the door to stop, and hurled abuses at my father.

I said,” Enough for now, any single word more and the police will be here at this doorstep.”

She got away and started banging utensils in the kitchen, while I left.