As soon as I got inside the bus, I called him. His phone was switched off. I called him 2-3 times, still switched off. After 30 minutes, I received a call from him.
He said,”So tell me what’s up? What are we doing today?”
I said,”Let’s begin with finding a girls PG for me.”
He was stunned,”Did you actually leave your home?”
I said,”Yes and for good. Now you have 45 minutes more and I will reach Delhi by 9 a.m.”
He said,”Okay give me some time, let me figure out a safe place for you and let’s meet at Dilli haat at 10 a.m.” He disconnected.
I reached Delhi with my heavy trolley bag and entered the premises of the metro station where I thought I would find some relief, but to my surprise all escalators weren’t working, so I had to use the lift. Worse, the metro was crowded, as I reached during the peak office hours. I missed two trains, just to escape the crowd. The third one was less crowded and I boarded it.
I had some money, not much as my last salary was finishing and I was jobless. I reached Dilli haat, dragging my bag through the stairs, and there he was standing in the queue for tickets. As soon as he paid for the tickets, he rushed and picked the bag from me. He saw, I was tired from the journey and said, “Let’s enter.”
He took the bag and deposited it in the baggage counter. Both of us went to our regular place.
He said, “Now tell me what happened?”
I narrated the whole incident. He said,”I expected that from you. Sorry, wrong word. I was quite sure, you’d take a stand. And I’m proud of you for doing that. It takes a lot of gut to get away from that kind of environment.”
I said, “I should have done this before, but now that it is done. What do we do next ?”
He said, “ I spoke to a PG in East of Kailash, its location is good for you to navigate career options in Delhi. I will be your guardian here.”
I said, “The worst part is my mother never bothered to call, counsel, or speak in ways to understand what happened, or why I took this step. It’s like she never had a basic motherly sentiment. My father was worried a bit, but had a very cold response. It’s like both of them wanted me to leave the home.”
He said,”I’d be skeptical to assume that. I feel your mother was tired of running a household with 3 children, so if one of them got away, she would be relaxed. Your father, he’s already sick and knows his time will be complete soon, in a few years, so what could bother a dying man?”
He ordered breakfast for both of us. We had coffee and he said, let’s go now. Let me show you your new place. He dropped me at the exact location, where the PG was supposed to be. He had already spoken with the owner. He didn’t come inside, as it was a girl’s PG.
I put up the bag in the sharing room, while he was waiting outside. I came back, and he said,”Now, you should head to your father’s office and inform him of your whereabouts.”
He dropped me at the metro station and I headed to my father’s office. I went inside, and asked for him, while he was surrounded by his staff.
I gave him an address of the PG, I had just settled in. He asked whether I needed money, I simply refused. I left after that.
I returned and found two roommates, one of them was a Bengali Lawyer from Jharkhand and the other one was an Odissi media person. I made friends with a girl from Dehradun who was a sports professional.
My days were packed with early morning musings at Dilli haat with Manu, where we were planning to start our own real estate broker firm. By evening, I’d return to the PG, have dinner and chat with my friends, and sleep.
It was the first taste of independence I truly had. After almost 2 months of staying there, we decided to start in the upcoming markets of Mohali & Zirakhpur.
Manu suggested that we should shift to Chandigarh for exploring builder collaborations and working. The lack of capital was initially covered by Manu.
We reached Chandigarh via Shatabadi, and checked into a hotel.
My appearance was that of a typical Delhi girl, but now it was time for me to graduate into a woman whose appearance is dependable. The first thing he did was take me to a salon.
He got me a nice haircut and we did some shopping. After that, we went to some localities and met brokers to scout a 2 BHK for ourselves. Manu’s strategy was to portray us as a married couple, so he asked me to put on sindoor for the sake of formality.
It worked, and we found a small house in Mohali. It was an elderly couple who hosted us on their first floor.
The house was furnished with a double bed, small wardrobes, ceiling fans, a fridge and a small attached kitchen. The first day, we went to shop for utensils.
We bought very minimalistic utensils along with a stove and it cost us 6K.
Our funds were depleting day by day, it was groceries and travel that occupied most of it. But we brokered a few deals and got some money, which was a relief.
One evening, I was getting calls from Nick. The past never forgets to chase you. I picked up and he was drunk. I realised his non-sense was never going to be over. He did not take the rejection well. His calls bugged me most of the day.
Manu realised my irritation, and took me for a surprise trip. He took me for sightseeing at the Sukhna lake, and we had a good time there. He then took me to rock cut gardens.
The next weekend was special. He hired a cab, and it took us to Yadavindra gardens. It was raining and the beauty of the foothills had just begun to overwhelm us. Then, we reached a resort in Parwannoo, where a ropeway to Kasauli hills was a tourist attraction. After the rain, the view of Kasauli hills was mesmerising and breath-taking.
We took pictures together. And in a moment of frenzy, we hugged. It was very conspicuous now what he felt about me. This time his touch was like butterflies going down my stomach.
We gazed at each other for 10 minutes without moving. He said,”Why did you meet me so late?”
I said,”I can’t reverse what has happened.”
I knew he was married, and his architect wife who lived in the US was his one true love. Yet I disconnected myself from there. I said, “It’s time, we should go now.”
On the way back, all those feelings had to burn. I knew this could never happen between us, and we’d never cross the line. I was leaning against the window and fell asleep. He woke me, once we reached home.
In an awkward gesture, he said, “Vidhisha it’s been 5 months you’re away from home. I think it’s time you should visit your parents and see how your father is doing.”
I thought for a moment, and said,”I think you’re right. I’ll leave in the morning.”
I packed a small backpack, and went to my room. Manu was smoking in his room. The lights of his room were on the whole night. It appeared, as if he never slept.
The next day, I was ready early. I took a cab and went to the bus station. I took a bus to Delhi and then changed to my hometown. After 9 hours of tiring journey, I reached my stop. The information of my arrival had spread like a wild-fire, as I informed my father about my travel, while he informed my brother, who then informed Nick.
He was waiting at the bus stop with his little bike. He urged,”Look I know you don’t want to see my face, but let’s be friends only. I’ve had you as my everything in this relationship, so this much humility can be expected.”
I was too tired to think about anything, so I said,”Okay let’s just go home.”
He dropped me and went away. I reached my house. I got inside and settled in the drawing room. I met my dad, and asked him how he was doing. He shared his struggles of travelling to and fro for dialysis. Then, came my mother whining from the first floor.
She came inside and sat. She asked,”What are you doing these days? I heard you’re earning money by selling homes now. Does it take compromise?”
I was disgusted by that question. My father was looking at her like he would rip her tongue with an axe. He scolded her, and said, “Your own morals have gone down so much to think of your daughter like that.”
She confronted him,”Her own friends have been spilling the beans. Why do you go and ask them, what she has been doing with her so-called business partner.”
I went into my bedroom, and slammed the door. My sister was sitting and doing her homework. She left the room and went to my mother’s. This time, the tears were in disgust. The judgement, the rumors had torn me apart. I wanted to call Manu, but thought it would unnecessarily bother him.
I came out, and offered some money to my father. He refused at first, I insisted. He said, I’ll put this into an FD/RD in your name. Knowing your mother, she’d devour this hard earned money into gifts for her siblings and mother.
I went out for a small walk outside the colony, and it was getting dark. A bike was following me. It appeared, as if Nick was the one. He got down and started walking with me. He said,”Are you alright? You’ve just cried and came out for a walk. What happened?”
I said, in agitation, “You happened, a typical curse in my life, who has provoked everyone against me, even my sister. Is it you who told my mother that I compromise and make my clients happy? I mean what am I, a prostitute? If this is your revenge, then well done, you’ve succeeded.”
He said,”Are you out of your mind? How can you expect me to utter something like this.?”
I yelled,”Shut up and just go, you do not deserve an inch of humility from me. Just leave.”
He kicked his bike in anger, and left. I was stranded alone on that street.
Tears had dried up now. After all, how many times the spirit of a female can be broken and maligned by the society that's supposed to protect her. I was no longer a human, but a walking stone at that time.
I wondered, if an urban girl like me is facing such a crisis of rumors and judgement, imagine the girls from villages and small towns, what they might be going through.
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