Chapter 6: | The Rebellion

 There was an immense silence, no calls, no meetings, nothing and I was still processing the discussion. A war was going on inside my head and I was a mess to myself and everyone around me. It wasn’t visible outside, but inside it was a massive storm. 

On day 4, he called early in the morning and said,” Vidhisha, I want to meet you. Can you come to Delhi?” 

I said,” I can, but I need to be home by 5 PM.”

He said,”What is this 5 PM deadline that you keep bringing up?” 

I said,”I’ll explain when we meet. I’ll leave in an hour.”

My emotional state of turmoil was so deep that tears won’t stop. All the events 21 years of my life were in front of me and they made me realise that I was an animal in a cage. I was a part of a deeper circus, where relationships were only shallow and meant to take away your freedom from either force or compulsion. 

I didn’t realise when the bus reached the station. I was sitting in the empty bus, and Manu came looking for me. He came inside the bus, and realised. He said,” Are you willing to sit and weep here all day?”

I was flabbergasted, and said,”No..just I was lost deep in my thoughts.”

He pulled my arm and said,”Let’s go..this place is not an ideal place to be.”

This was the first time I had ever felt his touch and it was as if a father’s concern for a daughter. I was broken and shattered and I craved freedom. In about 30 mins, we reached our spot. We took our seats.

He said,” What happened, did I say something that hurt you?”

I said,”No, it’s just I never realised the true purpose of my life. I thought all this burden of family and responsibility is what I have to live for. I never knew what freedom was until I met you. And I feel disgusted, for not raising my voice at everything I have been through. Nick, my mother and the environment, is just a hell I chose. I never set up boundaries.”

Tears were flowing through my eyes, he comforted me. 

He held my hand and said,”Don’t worry, it’s a very small problem, it’s not a big one compared to a family living on the street who have no means of earning money but begging. They know they can perish, but still choose to live. You are still educated, independent, earning and can legally take decisions in your personal interest. You don’t owe anything to anyone, it’s only a rotten teaching imbibed in the middle class. You’re not this.” 

I couldn’t stop. The pain inside me was flowing in the form of tears and realization of what I have missed. 

He said,”Don’t hold back anything, just let it all out. I know you’re under a burden of expectations, which cannot be fulfilled.” 

I stopped sobbing and said,”Just give me a minute, I need to wash my face.”

It took me 15 mins to clear my mess. He waited outside and his eyes were stuck on me. He held my hand and took me to the coffee shop. 

He ordered my favorite coffee and said, “Now tell, what is the 5 PM curfew about.”

I said,”It’s nothing but a mental barrier I have  created for myself. As any later than that she starts using abusive language and shuns my character, thinking I’m partying or boozing or drinking with my friends or boyfriend whatever. Once I went for a media engagement at NDTV, my company sent me to attend a political talk, it got late and at 9:30 pm we reached the bus station, so no buses were available. My colleague who lived nearby asked me to stay the night with her. I agreed, as it was pointless to roam the streets in search of the bus. I stayed the night and informed her, she started yelling on the phone without listening. The next morning when I reached home, her abuse and language, she even called me a prostitute. So it doesn't matter to me now.”

For a moment, he just tightened his fist as if he was trying to suppress his anger. I never saw him angry, but this time he couldn’t hold back. He said,”How can a mother do this to her children?”

Calmly, I said,”It’s a sad reality, but now that I have lived through it. I choose not to live it anymore.”

He said,” Let’s finish the coffee, and let’s go for a feast.”

He took me to the Rajasthani stall which was famous for pyaaz kachori and mirch vada. He ordered kullad tea. It was ravishing, mouthwatering and spicy, just the thing one needs. Then he ordered a thali, and we both shared it. I was full. It was past 7 pm now.

He dropped me at the bus station, and I went on for my journey home. This time, Nick’s calls were frequent, as I switched on my phone. I disconnected. He was waiting for me at the bus stop. No sooner than I got down, he said, “Where were you?”

I said,”None of your business.”

He said,”It’s my business.”

I said,” Not anymore. This is over. If you dare call me again or visit my house, I’ll report it to the police. So, now get off my face.”

I reached home, and she was in the kitchen talking to her sister. I sat across the stairs of the verandah and watched her. 

After she finished her call, I said,” Isn’t it amusing that you find happiness in your siblings and your so-called family that you left behind. And it’s funny how you’ve ruined the family that could have been yours forever. But now, enough of the manipulation. It’s time I move on. I am soon leaving this house and not coming back, until I become someone of my own. I need nothing from you.”

I went inside my room and left her stunned. She started hurling abuses worse than anyone could tolerate. I shut my door and put down a bag and started packing. It was 10 pm and my dad came back. I spoke to him about moving out and living in a PG, he said it’s a bad idea.

I said,”I can’t waste my time travelling to and fro. I can’t be sacrificing my health like you have.”

He was silent, and realised that the storm of rebellion had finally entered his own premises and now it was inevitable. 

He went to sleep and avoided any further discussion. I hid my bag under the bed and waited for the day. 

At 6 in the morning, I carried out my bag, I was ready to leave and I told my dad that I will inform him wherever I chose to reside. My mother came in front of the door to stop, and hurled abuses at my father.

I said,” Enough for now, any single word more and the police will be here at this doorstep.”

She got away and started banging utensils in the kitchen, while I left. 

Chapter 5: | The Realisation of Enemy

The Realisation of Enemy  

I met with all the employees who were very empathetic towards me. 

Concluding the warm conversations with the HR, she said, "I'm shocked to know this pervert man with such filthy intentions was working among us. No need to worry now, he's fired and his career is over. You can join us anytime you want to."

I politely refused and said, "I've been through too much for now. I'd rather take a break and settle down for now."

Manu was listening to the conversation.  After the HR left, he quietly came into the conference room and said, "Why don't you want to join the company?" 

I said, "It's a matter of self-esteem. These people are blinded by business so much that they fail to see the moral character of a person. Today one pest like Pandey would have easily survived being among these people, had you not intervened. So...I think it's wise to let this opportunity pass."

He said, "That...makes a lot of sense, but I'm here with you."

I said, "You won't be here all the time. You won't be here forever."

My inner goddess said the truth is nobody can stay in anyone's life like that forever. It is a matter of time when priorities change. 

He paused for a moment and said, "Let's go, this isn't a place for us then.!"

After a 45 mins drive, we reached Dilli Hat, took our place. It was a bright sunny day, the birds chirping on the mighty tall eucalyptus trees, and the sun kissing the ground on a cold winter morning. It was a majestic experience of freedom I tasted that day, without any obligations, office duties or anything. 

He came back after ordering a cup of hazelnut coffee and a sandwich. He said,"Now tell me about your family. I've been meaning to ask you about your family for a long time. What your dad does, what your mom is like, everything."

I said,"My dad is an accounts officer in a private company, mother is a librarian. Now my family history is pretty interesting. My grandmother raised my father alone, as my grandfather passed away when my father was 3 yrs old. But, entered my mother who seems to have issues. I never saw a day when she hasn't fought with my dad. I think she has a lot of expectations in life, unfulfilled ambitions, which makes her more chaotic from within. Though my father had tried to exceed her expectations, yet she has this demand that doesn't seem to end. And look now, he's dealing with kidney failure, his own spouse thinks he's a burden for her. I mean after putting his complete life in making her comfortable, a man gets this sort of abuse and disrespect."

Manu listened very carefully and said, "You should know the biggest enemy in your life is your mother. I can tell this because I have a massive story of my life that I'd like to share with you. This story has been buried inside me for years. It's like, I'm offering a piece of me to you. So, long before when I was 15, my elder sister got married to a great guy. Days after the marriage, I witnessed what someone would wish they'd never have. I saw an accident where a truck driver rammed into my parent's car. They were alive and trying to get out of the car, but the truck driver intentionally rammed it onto their bodies. My father, his body was in pieces when I reached, and my mother died on the spot. "

With a wet eye, he said," I later came to know that my grandfather was behind it. My bua, who is not the real sister of my father, but the wife of a palledar who worked for us. My father called her sister after her husband died, and raised me alongside her son. I later took revenge for his death. But trust me I know here this is going for you." 

For a moment I was stunned. He confirmed what my inner goddess had always doubted. As middle class people, the idea of parents as Bhagwan has been glorified in shastras and the society ethics. But what about those parents, who ruin their families? I was in an inner conflict, watching my mother growing up with her, I realised her very action had been something of a sheer manipulation, which comes when one is ineligible to be in a family. 

I said, "You could be right, if I think about it, the way she's raised me and raising my other siblings, it's a form of possession to prove her identity as a mother. Not because she wants to raise a generation of conscious individuals, but a generation who should be always indebted to her for her so-called sacrifices which she claims she's made. I can certainly relate to that."

Manu added, "She won't let you get married even anytime soon, let alone the possession, she's building a financial backbone for her vulnerable future."

I said,"How can you be so sure?" 

He said," Watch the pattern, how much education have you completed?"

I said, "I've done my +2 in science, wanted to become an engineer in aeronautics and go for the IAF as a pilot. So I cleared the IIT entrance, but my father was in hospital and mother was rushing around, nobody could get along for counselling, I also gave AIEEE, secured a rank, still it didn't happen. So my mother made me give an entrance for Eng(Hons.) in DU, ran to several colleges, came in cut-offs, still no one went for counselling with me. That was my nani's intervention I always knew. Finally after all admission dates were exhausted, they asked me to pursue BBA from a local govt. college, which was not even my field of interest. I went 1 year to college, then joined an internship in standard chartered, and have been doing jobs since then, but I left that degree after second year. That wouldn't have served my purpose at all."

He said,"Did you ask her why she didn't go for your counselling?"

I said, "I did and she said that we don't have money to spend on an Engineering degree, where god knows when you'd get a job. Your other siblings also have to study. So I confronted her, then why ask me to study for these entrances and why pay for coaching when you couldn't afford the engineering? And then she had no answer for that."

He said, "A typical unplanned marriage and unplanned parenting which ruins the family. I've seen it before, it's not her, but those pulling the strings behind her. Who controls her decisions anyway?"

I said,"Yes, her own mother (nani) is the reason for chaos. She might not be at fault but my mother's mother pulls the strings and ruins families. She's controlling and wants to control everyone, this is exactly why my mother is chaotic, indecisive and has ruined her family life." 

He said, " I knew it..I just wished it were different for you, but this isn't..!"

For a moment I just realised where this conversation was going. A deep silence fell in between and in that silence we were looking at each other, as if this was the last moment on earth. I knew I had someone who could be trusted as he validated my doubts, but something was quite amusing and mysterious about him, his appearance and his concerns. 

After a moment, he said, ” You should leave your home, as soon as you can, this whole family environment will either suffocate you or leave you in chains. This isn’t a progressive environment to be in.” 

It was like a stone crushed on my head, as this realization was bugging me for years now. Without any hesitation,I said, “How do you know what I have been thinking?”

He paused, and said, “I know life and I certainly know it better than you do. I’ve met an enormous amount of people, and I know how upper class societies work. I know the hypocrisy in which they burden their children and extract from them.”

I said,” Okay, let’s go now, it’s late and I need to be home by 5 PM.”

We left and this time, I was avoiding eye contact with him. It was as if someone had bruised my soul. The conversation was difficult and I was visiting the stalls of art works to distract myself. He dropped me at the bus station, and I reached home in 1.5 hours.

Chapter 4: | The Sentimental Him

 I have had a nice time on phone calls with Manu aka Mr. Deswal. The man who empowered me with confidence and trust, just like my dad. On the other hand, Nick was wondering the reason for my happiness, while my mum was rejoicing over the fact that I left my job.

I have been desperately waiting to meet him. The whole week we hardly had a long chat. That day, early in the morning at 6:30 a.m., my phone started vibrating. I was sleepy, and was about to ignore the call thinking it would be Nick. But, it was him. I was out of bed on a cold Sunday morning just to take this important call.

Manu, "Hello it's a lovely morning. How are you today?"

Me, "Just woke up, and now gonna make myself some coffee."

He said, "Coffee? How about a nice Irish Coffee at the same place we met last time"

Me, "Huh..? What? Now?"

Manu, " Naah not now, but how about two hours from now? I will pick you from the bus stop where you usually board the bus."

Me, "Okay, sounds cool to me!"

After this, he hung up the phone. I was smiling and couldn't stop thinking about what to wear.

I settled upon my black jeans with boots and an off white coat. I had a pink scarf to cover my head.The biggest hurdle was to reach the bus stop and board the bus without getting into Nick's notice.

He knew that I had no business going to Delhi. I covered my face, took a small wallet and my cell phone, avoided taking any usual accessory along that would give him a hint of my appearance.

I reached the bus stop in a 5 mins walk. My phone was vibrating and it was his fifth call already. My stomach was already pumped up with nervousness. And within no time, the bus reached the stop and I hopped in.

I took the ticket, and it was already his eighth call. In no time, I put my cell phone on airplane mode.

A sigh of relief.

This was the first time in my life I was enjoying this journey, which I've been doing for the past 3 years.

The best part was the highway covered in thick fog. With such low visibility, there was less traffic and a hue of sunlight was beginning to tear the fog. As soon as the bus reached the station, I was the first to get off. Now, I was looking for his car. I switched on my cell phone and it rang. I picked it up.

Manu, "Everything okay? I thought you were caught at home."

Me, "Just wanted to avoid his calls."

Manu, "Forget him, he's an insect. Where are you anyway.?"

Me,"I have reached the bus station."

Manu, "Alright here I come."

He was standing right behind me and I was amazed with his sudden appearance.

Me, "Are you a magician or what?"

Manu, "No...I'm just me."

He can't just stop bragging about himself, said my inner goddess.

I was smiling for no reason.

Me, "So where are we going today?"

Manu, "To office...!"

Me, "Whose office?"

Manu, "My office, your office, our office, the place where you left."

Me, "Are you kiddin' me? I'm not going there. That bastard Pandey would have already spread non-sense about me. Do you think facing him would be easy for me? I have some self-respect left."

Manu, "Pandey has been terminated on the pretexts of fraud and sexual harassment."

My anger melted within seconds and I wanted to laugh loudly. I felt like being avenged with justice. I became cheerful.

I asked, "Did you do something?"

Manu,"Do you want an honest answer?"

Me, "Yes of course.!"

Manu, "Promise me, you won't get mad or discuss with anyone, or you'll be in trouble."

Me, "Is that an advice, order, or request?"

Manu, "Consider it as an advice of a friend, an order of a guardian, and a request of someone who cares about you."

My inner goddess was charmed with his wise words. 

Me, "Okay, I promise."

Manu, "After you left, I set up a girl in his team. I hired an actress and paid her to flirt with him. So, she took advantage of the lunch time, provoked him and created a situation where he was making sexual advances towards her. Since, all of it was happening in the conference room, it was video taped and leaked in front of Vijayyan.

Apart from this, I also called up the major competitor of Vijayyan and strongly urged him to hire Pandey. The day he was called for the interview, I pushed Vijayyan to enquire about Pandey's whereabouts. He was found sitting at his competitor's office. I sowed the seed of client database breach in Vijayyan's mind, and it worked well. Rest he was kicked out with all due respect."

Me, "How am I going to face all of them?"

Manu,"Don't worry, I told Vijyyan that you were suspecting Pandey of a data breach and before you could unveil it in front of anyone, he created a situation wherein any hard-working employee would have resigned in such a manner. No one knows the reality. It's buried here between us. Do you think, I'm not sensible enough to understand you have self-respect?”

“Vidhisha...why did you met me so late?"

 

Me, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Manu,"Nothing, I'll explain that later. For now, here we are."

Chapter 3: | His Hidden Wrath

His Hidden Wrath

It has been five days since dad was in the hospital. I had been looking after him, and attending to his requirements. I was tired and sleepy. The thought of losing dad had made me restless, as he was the one who inspired me to survive amidst the difficult situations.

He always taught me lessons about life, and ways to deal with people. He knew about the stress that I was going through and that Nick was always keeping an eye on me, while I was attending him at the hospital.

I was waiting for the reports from the hospital. After having a consultation with the attending doctor, I was finally relieved to know that they are discharging him. I hurried up for all the formalities.

Meanwhile, it has been 5 days since I properly talked to Deswal. Yet he was concerned, and always called four times a day to know about my well-being. No matter Nick was around me, he was just keeping an eye on his credit card.

That evening when all the formalities were completed, I hired a cab back home. My brother came to accompany us and help me escort dad safely to home. While we were about to board, Deswal called up.

He said, "Hello, how's everything now? Have they discharged your father?"

I said, "Yes, we're just about to board the cab."

He paused for a moment and said, "Okay..is it possible for you to meet me now?"

This was a bloody unexpected situation, as I was all messed up and untidy. 

I said, "Okay I can manage that. So, where would you want me to meet?"

He said, "I'll pick you from your location. You're at Max right, I'm just 15 minutes away from there and on my way."

My tummy wasn't able to digest the fact that he's around and 15 minutes away from me. 

I said, "Okay, I'm waiting at the gate then."

There were two things that hit me hard. Either he's a stalker, or he's a pervert looking for an opportunity. I was practically a bit afraid to meet him. However, I didn't have a choice, since I had started to develop a trust in him. My inner goddess allowed me to keep that up.

My dad and brother had boarded the cab. I somehow managed to give them an excuse for a meeting at the office. Till now, nobody back at home knew that I left the job.

Five minutes later, he arrived at the gate with his silver car number 6954. He asked me to hop in.

I said, "Would you mind if we sit here at the hospital's cafeteria. It has a warm ambiance."

He stared at me with fury in his eyes, as if I was insulting him.

He said, "Do you think I'm like Pandey, and you can deal the way you do with other men?"

My inner goddess wow..where's that going now..!

I said, "Please don't take it as an offence, but I thought that maybe this could save a bit of time and perhaps we can use it productively. Rest, if you know a better place, I'll be happy to accompany you."

He said, "You're one critical woman, has anyone told you?"

I didn't answer and instead thought, 

Doesn't sounds like something new that you're telling me Mr. Oversmart. I know what you're upto. Let's see how far you can go. I'm willing to take a risk. 

I said, "Okay..let's go then."

As soon as I tied my seat belt, I put my hand in the purse to make sure that the pepper spray and safety pins were at place.

While he was driving, he was quiet, but a part of me knew that he's trying to scan my body language and appearance. All those energies he gave out during that 30 minute drive were intense. It was hard to judge his intentions. Each time I looked at his hands on the wheel, he looked into my eyes.

His hands were really beautiful and appeared skillful just like an artist's. By the time he parked the car, I was lost in thoughts.

He said, "Here it is."

I was awakened from half-sleep.

 He asked me to wait at the gate and he joined the queue to get the entry tickets. After we checked in through the gates, I realized that we were at Dilli Haat, the most authentic open place for art, handicraft, culture, and food.

Holy shit..how'd he knew about my taste?

He looked at me with a grimm and said, "Surprised? I know what you're thinking right now."

I said, "How did you know about this place?"

He said, "I just thought perhaps you'll like it, as this is one of my favorite places to hang out."

My inner goddess said, Wow , what a similarity. This creature is becoming interesting to me now.

 

We sat at a corner which was away from other disturbances. It was cold and dark, and the air had bought chills in me. He ordered a cup of strong hazelnut coffee for both of us. 

After the waiter left us alone, he settled properly and rested his hands on the table.

He said, "Now, Vidhisha, tell me, How's your dad now?"

I said, "He's okay, out of danger."

He said, " I understand. It must be very difficult for you to manage."

I said, "There's no difficulty. He's my father and anything I do is more out of love."

He said, "Yes, I can see that. It shows clearly on your face. You haven't slept for many days. Isn't it?"

I said, "Of course, if you were at my place, would you be able to sleep?"

He smiled and said, "Daddy's girl..huh?"

I smirked at him. Meanwhile, the waiter arrived with coffee and sugar. He placed it carefully and left.

As soon as I picked up a sugar cube, he said, "Allow me..please."

I said, "All yours."

He put two cubes of sugar in my coffee, and none in his. This was quite astonishing, as hazelnut coffee usually has a very strong taste and without sugar, it's awful. Yet he was a mysterious man, I didn't mind.

While I was sipping coffee, he said, "So how much experience do you have in real estate?"

I said, "Two years."

He said, "I see..so what were you doing here under Pandey?"

I smirked at him again while sipping coffee and said, "Pandey was an employee from my previous company, but I never knew of his true colors."

He said, "It seems you only know a part of what he wanted."

I said, "What do you mean?"

He said, "He proposed that I bring my car, and ask you for a trip outstation on a client visit. While, he had an intention to rape you."

I shook with fear. All that was going inside my head was flowing like water in the form of tears. I managed to control it though. It was both anger and fear. I felt like either murdering Pandey or myself for not being able to do anything. 

I stood up and said, "Can you excuse me for a moment? I'll be back."

Deswal seemed worried a bit, and his eyes were on me till I disappeared from his sight.

I went to the rest room, and for ten minutes I locked myself. I came out with swollen eyes, which was easy for anyone to guess that I cried. I washed my face with water, as much as I could.

While I came out, Deswal stood waiting for me.

He said, "I thought you left me here in the middle. Are you okay?"

I said, "Yes I am."

He said, "Stop lying lady. I understand you're a marketing professional, but not as good as you think. It's okay to express yourself. Why do you suffocate yourself too much?"

I said, "Can we sit?"

He said, "Sure..why not? Your coffee is waiting for you."

As soon as we reached the table, the waiter was placing two fresh cups of coffee. I said, "It's not required, I'm fine."

He said, "You better sit down. You'll catch a cold and cough."

This time he added two cubes of sugar into both the cups. That was again astonishing for me

My inner goddess had shattered completely to think about anything.

I took a sip and he said, "I never wanted to tell you, but it was necessary for you to know the kind of people around you."

I said, "Yes..everyone wants to get into panties only. That's how they see us, isn't it?"

He stopped and looked at me, as if I offended him. His eyes were ferocious and fire was boiling out of them.

He said, "I'd cut down that man into pieces, who would ever think like that about you. You're not a piece of meat."

I said, "What do you know about me?"

He snapped at me and said, "I know everything..!"

I didn't utter a word. This was as if I had been shut up by a man who knew nothing, but claims to know everything.

The silence that stood between us was worth a thousand words. His hidden wrath had come out, which showed his level of care. I was both amused and worried at the same time.

I asked him, "What do you know?"

He said, "I know that whatever you're into doesn't give you happiness. You're in deep trouble, which is eating you everyday like cancer. Your eyes, they narrate every story of your suffering. Your reserved body language shows how insecure you feel. Cummon kid...trust me, I know the bad world out there. I don't know what you've been through, but I can see the suffering on your face."

While he said all that I just wanted to cry, but he noticed a tear slipping off my eyelashes.

He said, "Tell me..what wrong has been happening in your life. I don't want anything from you. I just want to help you kid. I can't explain why I'm doing this, but you're like a baby to me. It feels as if I've given birth to you. So tell me dear, what is it that you've been through.?"

I started with hesitation and narrated my story of family and relationship with Nick. I said, "He suffocates me, and makes me feel worthless. I die a thousand deaths, when he tries to control me. I can't think of anything, but all that mess around me. I feel like dying."

I started sobbing. He offered me a tissue.

He said, "Isn't that your fault too? Since, you gave him the authority to do this to you."

I said, "I know it's my fault, hell I chose. Now, I want to get rid of it. I have nowhere to go. I can't do anything. He'll harm my family's reputation."

He said, "There's always a way out. You just need to think of a better one and a smart one."

I said, "How's that possible?"

He said, "Guess, now isn't the right time. We'll talk about this next time, when we meet. It's late now and I should drop you home."

It was 9:30 p.m. and the fog had covered the streets of Delhi. There was no traffic. While he was driving, my head leaned against the window pane, which was covered with fog. I could see the lights getting diminished. Though, it was my first experience of travelling alone on the streets of Delhi during night,

I was tired, so I rested my head against the window and I fell asleep.

He shook me, "Vidhisha...wake up. We're almost there. Tell me the route to your home."

I guided him through the streets of the city. It was unbelievable that in about 30 mins, he drove 50 kms to drop me home safely. I was flattered and amused, but feeling sleepy.

He parked the car near my home. Before I left, he said, "I want you to promise me something."

I said, "What?"

He said, "You won't cry alone and suffocate yourself anymore. I want you to be happy and strong enough that not even the biggest storm of life can shake you. Can you promise me that?"

I said, "I do..I promise this. Thanks for everything." While I was leaving he commented in wits, "Okay goodnight and sleep well. Also, keep your safety pins and pepper spray in place, whenever you go out.."

The moment was a shocking one for me. My inner goddess woke up and said, how the hell did he know about that? 

Regardless of the evening that I spent with him, it felt that I finally found someone whom I can rely upon and trust.