The Sentimental Mr. Scorpio

January 10, 2012

I have had nice time on phone calls with Manu aka Mr. Deswal. The man who empowered me with confidence and trust, just like my dad. On the other hand, Nick was wondering the reason for my happiness, while my mum was rejoicing over the fact that I left my job.

I have been desperately waiting to meet him. The whole week we hardly had a long chat. That day, early morning at 6:30 a.m., my phone started vibrating. I was sleepy, and was about to ignore the call thinking it would be Nick. But, it was him. I was out of bed on a cold Sunday Morning just to take this important call.

Manu, "Hello it's a lovely morning. How are you today?"

Me, "Just woke up, and now gonna make myself some coffee."

He said, "Coffee? How about a nice Irish Coffee at the same place we met last time"

Me, "Huh..? What? Now?"

Manu, " Naah not now, but how about two hours from now? I will pick you from the bus stop where you usually board the bus."

Me, "Okay, sounds cool to me!"

After this, he hung up the phone. I was smiling and couldn't stop thinking what to wear.

I settled upon my black jeans with boots and off white coat. I had a pink scarf to cover my head.The biggest hurdle was to reach the bus stop and board the bus without getting into Nick's notice.

He knew that I had no business of going to Delhi. I covered my face, took a small wallet and my cell phone, avoided taking any usual accessory along that would give him a hint of my appearance.

I reached the bus stop in a 5 mins walk. My phone was vibrating and it was his fifth call already. My stomach was already pumped up with nervousness. And within no time, the bus reached the stop and I hopped in.

I took the ticket, and it was already his eighth call. In no time, I put my cell phone on airplane mode.

A sigh of relief.

This was the first time in my life I was enjoying this journey, which I've been doing for past 3 years.

The best part was the highway covered in thick fog. With such low visibility, there was less traffic and a hue of sunlight was beginning to tear the fog. As soon as the bus reached the station, I was the first to get off. Now, I was looking for his car. I switched on my cell phone and it rang. I picked up.

Manu, "Everything okay? I thought you were caught home."

Me, "Just wanted to avoid his calls."

Manu, "Forget him, he's an insect. Where are you anyway.?"

Me,"I have reached the bus station."

Manu, "Alright here I come."

He was standing right behind me and I was amazed with his sudden appearance.

Me, "Are you a magician or what?"

Manu, "No...I'm just me."

He can't just stop bragging about himself said my inner goddess.

I was smiling for no reason.

Me, "So where we going today?"

Manu, "To office...!"

Me, "Whose office?"

Manu, "My office, your office, our office, the place where you left."

Me, "Are you kiddin' me? I'm not going there. That bastard Pandey would have already spread non-sense about me. Do you think facing him would be easy for me? I have some self-respect left."

Manu, "Pandey has been terminated on the pretexts of fraud and sexual harassment."

My anger melted within seconds and I wanted to laugh loudly. I felt like being avenged with justice. I became cheerful.

I asked, "Did u do something?"

Manu,"Do you want an honest answer?"

Me, "Yes of course.!"

Manu, "Promise me, you won't get mad or discuss with anyone, or you'll be in trouble."

Me, "Is that an advice, order, or request?"

Manu, "Consider it as an advice of a friend, an order of a guardian, and a request of someone who cares about you."

My inner goddess was charmed with his wise words. 

Me, "Okay, I promise."

Manu, "After you left, I set up a girl in his team. I hired an actress and paid her to flirt with him. So, she took advantage of the lunch time, provoked him and created a situation where he was making sexual advances towards her. Since, all of it was happening in the conference room, it was video taped and leaked in front of Vijayyan.

Apart from this, I also called up the major competitor of Vijayyan and strongly urged him to hire Pandey. The day he was called for the interview, I pushed Vijayyan to enquire about Pandey's whereabouts. He was found sitting at his competitor's office. I sowed the seed of client database breach in Vijayyan's mind, and it worked well. Rest he was kicked out with all due respect."

Me, "How am I going to face all of them?"

Manu,"Don't worry, I told Vijyyan that you were suspecting Pandey of data breach and before you could unveil it in front of anyone, he created a situation wherein any hard-working employee would have resigned in such a manner. No one knows the reality. It's buried here between us.

Do you think, I'm not sensible enough to understand you have a self-respect?

Vidhisha...why did you met me so late?"

 Me,"What's that supposed to mean?"

Manu,"Nothing, I'll explain that later. For now, here we are."

The Hidden Wrath of Mr. Scorpio

January 4, 2012

It was five days, since dad was in the hospital. I had been looking after him, and attending to his requirements. I was tired and sleepy. The thought of losing dad had made me restless, as he was the one who inspired me to survive amidst the difficult situations.

He always taught me lessons about life, and ways to deal with people. He knew about the stress that I was going through and that Nick was always keeping an eye on me, while I was attending him at the hospital.

I was waiting for the reports from the hospital. After having a consultation with the attending doctor, I was finally relieved to know that they are discharging him. I hurried up for all the formalities.

Meanwhile, it was 5 days since I properly talked to Deswal. Yet he was concerned, and always called four times a day to know about my well-being. No matter Nick was around me, but he was just keeping an eye on his credit card.

That evening when all the formalities were completed, I hired a cab back to home. My brother came to accompany us and help me escort dad safely to home. While we were about to board, Deswal called up.

He said, "Hello, how's everything now? Have they discharged your father?"

I said, "Yes, we're just about to board the cab."

He paused for a moment and said, "Okay..is it possible for you to meet me now?"

This was a bloody unexpected situation, as I was all messed up and untidy. 

I said, "Okay I can manage that. So, where would you want me to meet?"

He said, "I'll pick you from your location. You're at Max right, I'm just 15 minutes away from there and on my way."

My tummy wasn't able to digest the fact that he's around and 15 minutes away from me. 

I said, "Okay, I'm waiting at the gate then."

There were two things that hit me hard. Either he's a stalker, or he's a pervert looking for an opportunity to share his bed with me. I was practically a bit afraid to meet him. However, I didn't have a choice, since I had started to develop a trust in him. My inner goddess allowed to keep that up.

My dad and brother had boarded the cab. I somehow managed to give them an excuse of some meeting at office. Till now, nobody back at home knew that I left the job.

Five minutes later, he arrived at the gate with his sliver car number 6954. It looked as if a brand new model BMW. He asked me to hop in.

I said, "Would you mind, if we sit here at the hospital's cafeteria. It has a warm ambiance."

He stared at me with fury in his eyes, as if I was insulting him.

He said, "Do you think I'm like Pandey, and you can deal the way you do with other men?"

wow..where's that going now..!

I said, "Please don't take as an offence, but I thought that may be this could save a bit of time and perhaps we can use it productively. Rest, if you know a better place, I'll be happy to accompany."

He said, "You're one critical woman, has anyone told you?"

I didn't answer and instead thought, Doesn't sounds like something new that you're telling me Mr. Oversmart. I know what you're upto. Let's see how far can you go. I'm willing to take a risk. 

I said, "Okay..let's go then."

As soon as I tied my seat belt, I put my hand in the purse to make sure that the pepper spray and safety pins were at place.

While he was driving, he was quiet, but a part of me knew that he's trying to scan my body language and appearance. All those energies he gave out during that 30 minute drive were intense. It was hard to judge his intentions. Each time I looked at his hands on wheel, he looked into my eyes.

His hands were really beautiful and appeared skillful just like an artist's. By the time he parked the car, I was lost in thoughts.

He said, "Here it is."

I was awakened from half-sleep.

 He asked me to wait at the gate and he joined the queue to get the entry tickets. After we checked in through the gates, I realized that we were at Dilli Haat, the most authentic open place for art, handicraft, culture, and food.

Holy shit..how'd he knew about my taste?

He looked me with a grimm and said, "Surprised? I know what you're thinking right now."

I said, "How did you know about this place?"

He said, "I just thought perhaps you'll like it, as this is one of my favorite places to hang out."

My inner goddess said, Wow what a similarity. This creature is becoming interesting to me now. 

We sat at a corner which was away from other disturbances. It was cold and dark, and the air had bought chills in me. He ordered a cup of strong hazelnut coffee for both of us.

After the waiter left us alone, he settled properly and rested his hands on the table.

He said, "Now, Vidhisha tell me. How's your dad now?"

I said, "He okay, out of danger."

He said, " I understand. It must be very difficult for you to manage."

I said, "There's no difficulty. He's my father and anything I do is more out of love."

He said, "Yes, I can see that. It shows clearly on your face. You haven't slept for many days. Isn't it?"

I said, "Of course, if you were at my place, would you be able to sleep?"

He smiled and said, "Daddy's girl..huh?"

I smirked at him. Meanwhile, the waiter arrived with coffee and sugar. He placed it carefully and left.

As soon as I picked up a sugar cube, he said, "Allow me..please."

I said, "All yours."

He put two cubes of sugar in my coffee, and none in his. This was quite astonishing, as hazelnut coffee usually has a very strong taste and without sugar, it's awful. Yet he was a mysterious man, I didn't mind.

While I was sipping coffee, he said, "So how much experience do you have in real estate?"

I said, "Two years."

He said, "I see..so what you were doing here under Pandey?"

I smirked at him again while sipping coffee and said, "Pandey was an employee from my previous company, but I never knew of his true colors."

He said, "It seems you only know a part of what he wanted."

I said, "What do you mean?"

He said, "He proposed me to bring my car, and ask you for a trip outstation on a client visit. While, he had an intention to rape you."

I shook with fear. All that was going inside my head was flowing like water in form of tears. I managed to control it though. It was both anger and fear. I felt like either murdering Pandey or myself for not able to do anything. 

I stood up and said, "Can you excuse me for a moment? I'll be back."

Deswal seemed worried a bit, and his eyes were on me till I disappeared from his sight.

I went to the rest room, and for ten minutes I locked myself. I came out with swollen eyes, which was easy for anyone to guess that I cried. I washed my face with water, as much as I could.

While I came out, Deswal stood waiting for me.

He said, "I thought, you left me here in the middle. Are you okay?"

I said, "Yes I am."

He said, "Stop lying lady. I understand you're a marketing professional, but not as good as you think. It's okay to express yourself. Why do you suffocate yourself too much?"

I said, "Can we sit?"

He said, "Sure..why not? Your coffee is waiting for you."

As soon as we reached the table, the waiter was placing two fresh cups of coffee. I said, "It's not required, I'm fine."

He said, "You better sit down. You'll catch cold and cough."

This time he added two cubes of sugar into both the cups. That was again astonishing for me
My inner goddess had shattered completely to think about anything.

I took a sip and he said, "I never wanted to tell you, but it was necessary for you to know the kind of people around you."

I said, "Yes..everyone wants to get into panties only. That's how they see us, isn't it?"

He stopped and looked at me, as if I offended him. His eyes were ferocious and fire was boiling out of them.

He said, "I'd cut down that man into pieces, who would ever think like that about you. You're not a piece of meat."

I said, "What do you know about me?"

He snapped at me and said, "I know everything..!"

I didn't utter a word. This was as if I had been shut up by a man who knew nothing, but claims to know everything.

The silence that stood between us was worth a thousand words. His hidden wrath had come out, which showed his level of care. I was both amused and worried at the same time.

I asked him, "What do you know?"

He said, "I know that whatever you're into doesn't gives you happiness. You're in deep trouble, which is eating you everyday like cancer. Your eyes, they narrate every story of your suffering. Your reserved body language, shows how insecure you feel. Cummon kid...trust me, I know the bad world out there. I don't know what you've been through, but I can see the suffering on your face."

While he said all that I just wanted to cry, but he noticed a tear slipping off my eye lash.

He said, "Tell me..what wrong has been happening in your life. I don't want anything from you. I just want to help you kid. I can't explain why I'm doing this, but you're like baby to me. It feels as if I've given birth to you. So tell me dear, what is it that you've been through.?"

I started with hesitation and narrated my story of family and relationship with Nick. I said, "He suffocates me, and makes me feel worthless. I die a thousand deaths, when he tries to control me. I can't think of anything, but all that mess around me. I feel like dying."

I started sobbing. He offered me a tissue.

He said, "Isn't that your fault too? Since, you gave him an authority to do this to you."

I said, "I know it's my fault, but I was bluffed. Now, I want to get rid of it. I have nowhere to go. I can't do anything. He'll harm my family's reputation."

He said, "There's always a way out. You just need to think a better one and a smart one."

I said, "How's that possible?"

He said, "Guess, now isn't the right time. We'll talk this next time, when we meet. It's late now and I should drop you home."

It was 9:30 p.m. and the fog had covered the streets of Delhi. There was no traffic. While he was driving, my head was leaned against the window pane, which was covered with fog. I could see the lights getting diminished. Though, it was my first experience of travelling alone on the streets of Delhi during night,

I was tired, so I rested my head against the window and I fell asleep.

He shook me, "Vidhisha...wake up. We're almost there. Tell me the route to your home."

I guided him through the streets of the city. It was unbelievable that in about 30 mins, he drove 50 kms to drop me home safely. I was flattered and amused, but feeling sleepy.

He parked the car near to my home. Before I left, he said, "I want you to promise me something."

I said, "What?"

He said, "You won't cry alone and suffocate yourself anymore. I want you to be happy and strong enough that not even the biggest storm of life can shake you. Can you promise me that?"

I said, "I do..I promise this. Thanks for everything."

While I was leaving he commented in wits, "Okay goodnight and sleep well. Also, keep your safety pins and pepper spray in place, whenever you go out.."

The moment was a shocking one for me. My inner goddess woke up and said, how the hell did he know about that? 

Regardless of the evening that I spent with him, it felt that I finally found someone whom I can rely upon and trust.

The Last Day of Work

December 30, 2011

It had been 15 days, and I was working mercilessly like an animal for getting some good sales. Pandey seemed to be a co-operative, but was pervert. We were half-way in our sales target, and rather than making things smooth for me, he was putting most of his effort in making things uglier.

It was almost 15 days since I had any conversation with Deswal. I was looking forward to talk to him and this time I was desperate to switch. There was no opportunity, since he was out on field for meetings, and busy with his team.

Everyone was happy on New Year's Eve, and I kept wondering, if I could get out of this hell. As soon as I left for my home, Pandey came from behind and asked if he could join me on my way back home.

I was a little shook from within, as it was dark and 8:00 p.m. in winter, and a man offering to accompany me, was not a good sign. Yet I said, "Of course."

We hired an auto to the bus-stop and Pandey started the conversation saying, "So what does your father do?"

I knew he'd start with this. All perverts do, said my inner -self.

I said, "Nothing just a Chartered Accountant in a company." He said, "Okay, and who else are there in your family."

I wanted to say, Perhaps I can give you my dad's number, why don't you ask him?

Yet I said, "It's me my mom and dad, and two siblings."

I know what you're up to pervert. Now go on with your next question.

He asked, "So how's work and life?"

I said, "Work wise, things are good, and life...is also great. I'm getting married next year. I have a boy friend."  

You never know how you can simply use false names, when in trouble.

He asked, "So what does he do, your fiancee?"

I said, "He works as Senior Sales Officer for a company."

It seems Pandey was upset with the fact that I was committed. Yet, slowly his hand was covering the upper edge of the seat, and he was about to put his arm against my shoulder. I was feeling uncomfortable, as my hand bag was on my lap, and both hands resting on it.

I carefully managed to take out a safety-pin, and half-pinned it at the corner of my coat's shoulder end. I pretended to scratch my head, and indeed the pointed end of the pin struck his skin twice.

He removed his arm saying, "Damn...bloody mosquitoes in winter."

We reached the bus-stop and boarded a bus, which was perhaps the last bus leaving the city. There was a complete ruck in it, yet we managed to get some space for ourselves. The journey back-to-home started, and Pandey's stop arrived in about 20 minutes. Once he got off, I was relieved.

My next challenge was dealing with Nick, who was supposed to pick me from the bus-stop. However, it was 10:30 p.m. when I reached. He stood there with his bike parked. I got down from the bus.

He said, "Why don't you leave your job? It's New Year's Eve, we had dinner plans and see it's too late. We won't get anything to eat."

I said, "Can you please shut-up and zip up your mouth for a minute?"

He felt insulted and said, "I can see that your attitude has changed, ever since you became the manager. I don't care whether you're a manager or a director, but first, you're my wife, and I'll treat you the way I should."

 After listening to all of his non-sense, I felt like slapping him, but I didn't have the gut. I was worried about my family's reputation, and other worse consequences, which could affect them.

I said, "Can we meet tonight at 12?"

Nick was amused, and his expressions were totally changed. From a blood-sucking husband, he pretended to be an extremely caring boy-friend.

He said," Sure darling, anything that I can get you?"

I said, "Two packs of Cigarettes and a half vodka with some fish crisps. That'll be enough."

He dropped me home, and I was relieved to finally get back to my room. My grumpy mother was sleeping, and my dad was yet to arrive. After 20 minutes of my arrival, my dad reached home. I prepared some pasta for him, along with some grilled sandwich.

He liked it. I gave him his medicines and he asked me to sit.

My dad said, "You look so tired, is your health okay?"

I said, "No dad...I'm fine. It's just work and stress."

He said, "How's the new job and everything there?"

I said, "Everything's fine, atleast better than the last job. They're growing and soon will occupy a good market share."

He said, "I trust you and your decisions. If there's anything you want to share...you know I'm always there. I want you to achieve massive success in whatever you do. Atleast, I'll be proud to say that I'm your father. I have no expectations from your mother though. She has been a very selfish and irresponsible woman. I don't want you to be like her. It was very brave of you to take up the responsibility of your family at such an early age, knowing my health. I'm proud of you.

The last thing that I want you to understand is that choose your life partner wisely. No one out there shall be responsible for your choice of life. "

My dad had this clever habit of hitting the pain-areas and he did it. I controlled tears in my eyes, yet it was difficult to do so. I took his leave and went to the bathroom. I held my mouth tightly and began to cry, as much as I could, so that no voice could go outside. After ten minutes, I came out and my brother was waiting outside.

He said, "Nick has been calling me since 10 minutes, he's waiting at the terrace for you."

I said, "Okay."

Nick and I were neighbors and so our terraces were at same level. It used to be the most ideal place for us to meet. As soon as I reached the terrace, Nick was sitting on the surface having a smoke. It was dark and cold, though there was some moonlight which helped me to see his face.

I wore my tracksuit and jacket upon it. Nick had created a picnic set-up on the terrace, and things were already served. He asked me to sit and offered a drink. I took it and in two sips, it was in my belly. He made another and I borrowed his lighter to burn a cigarette.

I took deep puffs and still there was no effect. I wanted to get heavily drunk, yet after finishing almost a quarter neat, there wan't any effect. However, Nick had started to fall after three shots of neat vodka.

My inner goddess said, Now where's the Punjabi spirit, fat man? Is that only your tolerance of alcohol? 

I was completely normal, and before he started getting his hands on me, I said, "I think you should go now. You're going out of your senses. Good night and Happy New Year."

I ran away from the terrace leaving him alone. The next day was too rough to start. I woke up late and rushed for the office.

It was holiday everywhere, only I was supposed to go to work, since on festivals there was a better opportunity for client acquisition in real estate.

I reached office and it was 11:00 a.m. Pandey's face was red with anger, he said, "Where the hell have you been? Do you know that your team needed you today here? Now go and collect your stuff, you're going to sit on the site. I have made arrangements for you and take your team members along."

I had to absorb my anger. I took the two schmucks, along with me and we ended up at a residential site, which was in mid-way construction. We entered the office, and I was relieved to find Deswal sitting with a client.

Seeing him there was like finding water in the desert. I asked my team members to settle down and look for any clients enquiring about the project. I went to the manager, who knew me since my previous company. I exchanged greetings with him, and asked for any leads he might have come across.

He checked his file and gave me two contacts. I took his leave and went to Mr. Deswal's desk, who had just gotten free from his client.

I sat and said, "You were right. Perhaps, this isn't the right place for me. I want to seek your help. I'm interested to switch."

He said, "Okay give me a day, and let me check out if they have any vacancies. I'll let you know."

I said, "Sounds good to me. Thanks!" We shook hands.

Suddenly, one of my client who was a follow up called, and asked for a meeting in his office. I informed this to Pandey. He called me back to the head office.

After reaching the office, I explained Pandey about an old reference of mine, who gave me this client. He insisted on calling the client in our office, so that he could assure that I wan't cheating on the company.

He said, "Ask your client to meet us here. You won't go to meet at his office."

My temper had all heated up, and this was the limit that I could bear any crap from him.

I said, "No...I will go to meet my client, and let's see who can stop me."

He said, "It's better that you give your resignation, before leaving this office and surrender every property including the SIM card given by the company and client details. Then you're free to go."


I said, "Then so it be."

I surrendered every intellectual property of the company that I was carrying and left. While I left, Deswal had seen the complete incident happening, yet he didn't utter a word.

After I left, I was in immense anguish and didn't know what to do. I had my personal SIM card, which I kept for emergency. I used it into my cell-phone. I took out Deswal's visiting card, and thought whether I should call him or not.

I was in conflict, but my inner goddess permitted me to go for it. I called his number.

He picked, and said, "Please tell me this is you.!"

I fumbled and thought, how can he recognize my voice. I said, "Yes...it's me."

He said, "Thank god, I thought I'd lost you forever. I had faith that you would call."

I said,"I don't have words. I'm sure that by now, you must have heard all those gossips in the office."

He said, "I always knew that Pandey was a pervert. I'll explain that once we meet. He is so disgusting that he's calling all your clients and tarnishing your image, saying that you have been terminated."

I said, "I don't care. I knew he is an insecure, and obsessed guy. He's a loser."

Deswal laughed, and said,"Yes, he is. Anyway, tell me when can we meet? I want to sit and discuss with you.
  
I said, "I'll call you tomorrow, and perhaps we can fix a time."

He said,"Works well for me. So, take care and don't bother yourself. I'm there with you. Pandey is going to pay for his sins soon. Good bye."

He disconnected the call. For some reasons, when he said that he's there, it touched me deep within. I started developing trust in him, yet I didn't know him properly.

He was a stranger, but it felt, as if I know him since ages. He came like a healer for my wounds.

I was waiting to meet him.

The First Meeting

December 16, 2011

It was a chilly winter morning and I was feeling so sick to get up and get ready for the office. However, I had to go, since the new company I joined required a highly dedicated Business Development Manager. Finally, I had to wake up.

I looked outside and there was a blanket of thick fog, even at 8:30 a.m. in the morning.  I was getting ready and wearing my formal suit, with beige trousers and brown coat. My inner goddess said, wow you look like a professional manager now.

The ambition and passion with which I used to get up everyday dress up, was highly admired by my brother, who gradually had a school, while he bunked it for no reasons. After my dad left for his office, it was me who had to leave. It was a usual day. My grumpy mother gave me the lunchbox, and I left without eating a single grain.

I took out my cell-phone, but I wasn't really willing to call him. I needed space, and he was a fat-ass who had his habit of keeping an eye on me, no matter if I'm at work. He suffocated me. But as they say, "Think of the Devil, and There He Appears."

I always had regrets of being in a relationship with Nick, because he was completely sick. Nick was his surname, but Nikandar Arora had some really bad misconceptions about himself. He was a fat-man, with his belly growing 1 centimeters in diameter everyday.  May be, his politician brother was the reason of his, so-called pride and arrogance.

Damn, the sneaky shit, bloody stalker..! Does he even sleeps, or is he always waiting outside my house to check, when I'm leaving, said my inner-self. 

"Good Morning Madam", He said. He was riding his usual bike, and sometimes I wondered if his bike ever complained the way he sits, and puts all his weight. I felt so sorry for his bike. He offered me a ride to the bus-stop.

He stood there with me, till the bus arrived. No sooner did I board the bus, he left. I was relieved that it was just a 10-minute torture of being with him. I took the ticket to the last stop. I put on my head-phones, and started listening to some good tunes.

My cell-phone started ringing . Damn it...why can't he just leave me alone, said my inner goddess. 

It was him. I had to take this call, since he was so possessive, which could make him think that I'm dating someone randomly in the bus.

I picked up, and said, "Hello, tell me."

He said, "You tell me, why were you so quiet today? Is there something wrong at home? Did you have a fight with your mother? I think we should get married as soon as possible. I can't see you suffering like this. You should live a comfortable life and I will go out and earn."

This two minute talk was so annoying that I felt screaming like mad, but I couldn't do anything, since I was in public.

I said, "There's nothing wrong in being quiet. My mother is grumpy that's it. This doesn't means I have to fight with her. Marriage...how many times, I have to tell you that I didn't sign up for such a relationship. I always told you that I'm neither serious, and nor am I interested in getting married. I'm just 22 years. It's time for me to become something. You're five years elder to me, look where you stand, so let me go and live peacefully..! "

I shut down the phone saying this. All the young girls travelling in the bus were looking at me, for the valor with which I spoke.

Damn, why can't these people mind their business. 

My cell-phone rang again.

Son-of-a-bitch, he's going to get this bloody hard now, said my inner self.

I picked up. "Is this the way to talk to your husband?", Nick yelled.

I said, "Husband, excuse me? I'm not married. I'm just in a sick god-damn relationship, which suffocates me so much that I feel like dying. You've made my life hell. Just leave me.

Please... I beg you to leave me alone. I'm not the right girl for you. I won't be able to keep you happy. I'm a practical and open-minded woman. I don't like to be bound. I can't open up myself to you. Why can't you see that? Please let me go, Please.."

By the time he disconnected the call, I was sobbing. I tried to control my tears, but wasn't really able to do it. I blamed myself for getting into this situation.

If this is the beginning of the day, then what's gonna happen next?

The thought scared me a bit. Yet, I gathered my gut to remain in place. I started thinking about how everyday, I was getting deeper into his trap.

Soon, my stop arrived and I got off the bus. I was fumbling a bit, since Nick had already ruined my head, and I wasn't aware of the new workplace at all. As soon as I entered the reception, the receptionist asked my purpose of visit.

I said, "I'm a the new Business Development Manager, with the reference of Mr. Pandey."
She said, "Sorry, whose reference again?"
I said,  "Mr. Onkar Pandey".

She checked the intercom, looked for his extension, and called him up.

While I was sitting at the reception, a man of probably thirties wearing dark grey suit, over a navy blue shirt and mauve tie, entered the reception. He was 5'10'' tall and wearing dark shade glasses. He asked for Mr. Vijaayan, who was the Director of the company. No sooner did the receptionist held the intercom for calling him, Mr. Vijaayan arrived at the reception asking for a file. He caught glimpse of the man wearing grey suit, and shook hands with him saying, "Hello Mr. Deswal, how are you doing? It's a pleasure having you with us. Please follow me."

While he was leaving from the reception area, he tried to make an eye contact with me, but I ignored, and he left. Meanwhile, Mr. Pandey came and shook hands with me. He was an average guy, who happened to be the Manager of the Sales Department. He took me to his cabin, where two men were already sitting.

He introduced me with those two men saying, "Ms. Vidhisha will be your reporting manager from now on. She will train you for sales and field visits. Also, she will accompany you during client acquisition. I want you guys to learn as much as you can, since I have worked with her. She's a sales shark."

Whatever Pandey said hardly mattered to me, since my mind was stuck at the reception. I was trying to figure out the kind energies that man possessed. After finishing his speech, he asked them to leave. Now, it was me and Mr. Pandey alone in his cabin.

He said, "Come on, let me introduce you to the Director. He'll be pleased to meet you."

With sheer excitement, Pandey opened the door of his cabin and asked me to follow him.

My inner goddess wondering, isn't that where Mr. Deswal would also be present this time?

The cabin of Mr. Vijaayan was a dark room with extremely dim lights, there was smell of agarbatti (joss stick). Mr. Vijaayan was busy talking to Mr. Deswal, while Pandey intervened them saying, "Sir..umm I wanted to introduce you to our new Business Development Manager."

Vijayyan said, "Sure, bring her in."

Vijayaan was a 50 year old man with a tough voice and a South Indian accent. He asked both of us to grab a chair.

Now I was sitting in between Mr. Deswal and Pandey. This was practically a situation, I didn't want to get into. I was never comfortable being the center of attraction, as I was always a loner wolf. Three men had their eyes on me, which means three different energies. While, it was difficult to figure out who was thinking what.

Being a scorpion, you can perhaps scan one at a time, but a she-wolf sitting between three predators, is not happening. I asked my inner goddess to shut-up for some time. 

Watching my hand fumble, Deswal stood up and said, "I'll catch you in a minute sir, this is an important call."

That was a relief.

Mr. Vijayyan, "So welcome, Vidhisha. I have heard a lot from Pandey about your skills and experience in Business Development and Sales. You were the top target achiever in your previous company, and I expect you to do better than that. Good luck for your hardship, here with us. I have huge expectations from you."

He stood up and shook his hands with me. He accompanied me and Pandey out of the cabin, where Mr. Deswal was on a call.

He asked Deswal to join him back. That was the second attempt, Deswal tried to make and eye contact, but this time I was lost in thoughts.

My inner goddess was furious over the word "expectations". Bullcrap..! why do everybody has so much of expectations from me on this earth? My parents, Nick, and now this Vijayyan. all of them appeared as enemies to me standing with their spears across the battlefield, and waiting to attack me along on the either side. This was another suffocation of life. But, I couldn't do anything. 

Pandey accompanied me to his cabin and said, "Okay so, this will also be your cabin from now on. Both of us will sit together, and devise strategies. You can call the executives in the meeting room and give them training."

In my head this was like a stranger man saying, okay lady, this is the only bed on earth we've got and we'll share it. We'll sleep together, have babies, and decide whether to have more or not. 

Pandey's exaggeration on emphasizing the fact that we'll share the cabin, was a red alert to me. He was a cunning man though, but I had to ensure his intentions. 

I spent 2 hours training those two schmucks, who didn't even know what industry they were into. I wasn't sure, if anything had gotten into their heads, as while training, it appeared as if I was talking to dead skeletons. Perhaps, they were not able to understand fluent English. Their faces were pale and blank, as if it were a horror show. Though, they knew how to write, and so, they did, what a student of Eighth grade usually does. They made notes of everything written on the board.

It was lunch time, and I reached back to the cabin. Pandey was out for lunch. There was no one on the floor. It was quiet, silent, and soothing for me. I rested my head against the desk and closed my eyes for 10 minutes.

After ten minutes, when I woke up, I found Deswal sitting across the desk, gazing me as if he won a treasure hunt. I was completely flabbergasted, as this was unexpected.

My inner goddess, what the hell is he doing here? How come he took advantage of the situation? I should get up and go..Oh no..that would be insulting. May be, I should see what he wants to say. Bloody Pervert.!

Deswal said,"Hi Vidhisha, you're quite famous in the office."

I said,"Huh?"

"Yes.., Pandey has been proudly bragging to achieve highest target by the end of this month. What have you done to him? The man has blind faith in you. If I were him, then I would be the last man to brag about you and would have kept you as my secret weapon", said Deswal.

With my complete ego I said, "Perhaps, he is simply confident about the strategy that we have worked out. Don't worry sir that will be taken care of. We make a great team."

My inner goddess, what the hell am I saying. Pandey is an ass-hole.

Deswal might have figured that out my facial expressions were contradictory with my words.

He said, "Anyway, Good luck with your team. My personal advice to is that this isn't the right place for you."

He gave me his visiting card and said, "In case, you change your mind to switch. I have some good contacts in the banking industry. A sophisticated woman like you should work for a reputed bank, and not for a third class broker."

He stood up and left in anger. He gave me too many questions and reasons to think that why I shouldn't be there.

This was a perhaps the only man in the world, who challenged my wits and forced me to think upon every word he said in those five minutes. I never knew that those fives minutes were destined to change my life.

The Last Meeting

14th Feb' 2012

It was a chilly winter morning in the suburbs of Delhi, when at sharp 9:30 A.M., I reached Dilli Haat. I searched him outside the parking lot, around all the Panwaris, where I could possibly find him smoking or roaming, but he was nowhere. 

I sat outside the gate waiting and thinking, “I should have never come back from Chandigarh”. The epitome of Happiness, grace and energy was all left behind in the foothills of Parmanoo, where almost 2 weeks ago, we had experienced the most beautiful sunrise after a thundershower. 

“The most convincing beauty on earth had stirred life among two dead souls, who were living a worthless life full of responsibilities& liabilities. The mornings at Parmanoo were so graceful that it charged and purified the mind, body & soul of all impurities. Also the evenings beside the lake in Chandigarh were so bosom that I could spend my whole life sitting beside the lake watching  the moon and stars in the sky.” 

It was 9:44 A.M. and he was still not there. The dense fog around the whole area had begun to diminish, as the hue of sunlight was dominating the fog. I had already purchased two tickets, so that we could prevent the long queues.  I could not afford to waste even a single minute while meeting him, since he had become an obscenely big personality who couldn’t afford to waste his time on a commoner like me.

“But then, it was all my choice. How could I blame him for my decision? I did this for the betterment of both of us. There was no future left at that place, when we had already suffered huge loss in our business”, I thought.

It was now 10:15 A.M. and my patience had started to boil along with my temper. As it was his usual habit to keep me waiting because he had a strong belief that being a Scorpion (who is ruled by darkness with a carrying capacity of venom), I have the proficiency to absorb all the negativities and converting them into valuable experiences of life. He used to compare me with Athena, the Greek goddess of war & wisdom. Since, he had never seen such a wise and versatile woman who could be just perfect for any man.

” But then, this perfect lady who had left behind all her perfection had now become a commoner , who just stood waiting for the man whom she regarded as her godfather”, my inner goddess said.

While waiting, I took a smoke and as usual my observations of the environment had gradually begun. Earlier, I used to feel embarrassed smoking in the public alone, thinking that it would give a wrong impression of my personality and character.

But, the corporate life had already trained me not to think too much as; obviously I’m not going to approach the Panwari for a date. It’s an insane thought. 

We’re living in 21^st Century and still the same thinking exists when people living in metros actually believe in Live-in relationships and friends with benefits.

I realized that when a woman smokes or she is found smoking in the public, people make two types of assumptions: Either they officially declare her a whore, or they find her bold & brave enough to carry such an image in the public. 

But what does smoking have to do with a woman’s character or the govt. has only given the copyright license to men for smoking in public?

 I usually advice People to just get over with it, as this is just an insane thought. We also get stressed at times and smoke actually lowers the flow of depression hormones in the body. So stop seeing and visualizing us like we’re committing a crime. 

We are proud of being a part of a democratic nation where men actually have full freedom to smoke, whistle and harass a girl in public. The reason women become victimized is just that they prefer ignorance over publicly insulting them.

 Hush, it seems that I was almost about to take an oath of becoming the Chief Minister of Delhi and rehearsing my speech.

After getting out of the Women Empowerment state of mind, I noticed my character assumption getting assassinated by the visual motion of the Panwari, the tea-seller, the municipal workers and a few couples, who were roaming around the ticket counter.

It was 10:45 A.M. now and I had wasted more than enough time waiting for him. I picked my bag and started getting down the stairs, when suddenly, I felt a cold gush of wind advancing towards the parking lot and a loud horn indicating his presence around.

As I turned, I saw the silver car with number 6594 entering the parking lot. I got mixed feelings at that time. First, I thought of walking away from that place to insult him, but then, I knew how desperately I spent 3 months 2 weeks and 4 days waiting to meet him without any contact.

It was just a date, time, venue and my faith, which perhaps pushed me to come and meet him. I had no idea to how I’d react on seeing him after so long. I thought, maybe I should hug him as he comes in front of me.

But as they say, ”it never happens the way you think” and as usual he was busy on a phone call wearing a grey suit and beige shoes.

Mr. Scorpion had finally arrived.

Now that my face and eyes turned red after seeing him. He came looking at me, smiling and observing me, as if it’s the first time we’re meeting. He pretended to be inoffensive.

A smart act but, it’s tough enough to lure me, he knew. Though the best part about him was, even being wrong he usually played inoffensive and smart enough that you can’t actually win from him.

Entering the gates of Dilli Haat, Mr. Scorpion still seemed busy with his cell phone.

I thought for a moment, “Why don’t men marry their phones when they don’t need us?”

 He smirked at me as if he was reading my mind.

When he realized that my temper was about to burst, he postponed his call and started giving smart explanations, “Sorry, I was caught in a meeting at the party office, they were not letting me off, I came here through a very tough situation.”

”It’s Okay”, I said controlling my anger.

 “So how are you and how’s everything at home”, Mr. Scorpion asked.

My inner goddess wanted me to say “How I’d be without you, it’s been long for since I talked to anyone, my life has become hell after you left. I am nothing but a piece of dead meat trapped in a vessel.”

But a scorpion is a scorpion after all, never reveals its state of mind. You have to understand and get into a scorpion’s mind to know the actuality which obviously both of us were very good at.

I said, “All’s good”.

Mr. Scorpion with sarcasm, “Really and since when did this just happen?”

I said,”Do you really care about that?”

Mr. Scorpion,” It is my business indeed.., your life is of course my business. You don’t even bother to tell me what you’re going through. Do I mean something to you or not?”

“If it were your business, then you wouldn't have left me there helpless, when I was getting insulted in front of the world. Where were you that time, when I needed you? Please do not show me your fake concerns mister, because I am not going to be hypnotized by your words at all”, I said firmly with a tear in my eye.

Mr. Scorpion was clever enough to figure out whatever I said, was not on my mind. He knew very well what I was speaking was all that hatred and venom coming out of me, which indeed was not the reality.

He noticed a tear in my eyelashes and said, “If this is it, then why is your eye wet. What’s making you hurt so much? You should be happy to give out your frustration, what’s bothering you huh?”

I gradually didn’t have any of his answers. In spite of pushing into a conversation, he patted my head and left me alone for some time. He soon returned after 10 minutes and ordered a tea for both of us. 

The tea was served in mud glasses called “Kullad”. We both were die hard lovers of the fragrance hot kullad tea. The essence of mud rejuvenated my mind and took me back to the time from where the journey of Two Scorpions began.